My Menopause Anxiety (Meno-Anxiety) Story

My menopause anxiety issues started a few years ago, I call the inter-mingling of the two conditions meno-anxiety. I'd been post menopausal for a year or two and thought I was doing pretty well, I didn't really get the hot flashes and I didn't realize my insomnia and anxiety were related to menopause, they'd been a part of my life for years. I did notice a gradual increase in both but again I had no idea they were a part of menopause, I'd always just heard about hot flashes, and I kept moving forward as I always had. I'd had a few very stressful hospitalizations that I recovered from physically just fine but emotionally I knew that they'd taken a toll. I didn't realize how much until I had my first panic attack while out walking. I'd always loved going for walks and I was going for a short walk in my neighborhood and I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye that startled me, and immediately my heart started racing, I began to sweat and felt very weak, I was really concerned that I was having a heart attack or something, which freaked me out. I remember praying and speaking scriptures over myself, just trying to make it home. I was looking for anything to grab onto as my walking felt unsteady from dizziness and it was so scary, all I knew was that I needed to reach home and call 911, usually I had my phone with me but this time I didn't. Thankfully I wasn't far and I did make it home and called, I told the dispatcher that I thought I might be having a heart attack or stroke. They kept me on the phone and the paramedics showed up after a few minutes. They were young men who were really sweet and began asking their questions and taking my vitals. They said my heart was beating a little fast, but after checking me out they said I didn't have the signs of a stroke or heart attack. What I did have was a low grade temp and the young man asked me if it was possible, since I didn't seem to be sick, if I was having a urinary tract infection (uti). I was a little perplexed, I hadn't had the urinary symptoms for one and said not that I was aware of. Then he asked if I suffered from anxiety. Sure, I said, but I've had that for years and nothing like this has ever happened. I looked around at their sympathetic faces and it began to sink in that they'd seen this a time or two. He said he thought I'd had a panic attack, which can feel very much like a heart attack if you're unsure of what's going on. They did offer to take me in to have me checked out, but I'd begun to calm down so I declined and thanked them for their help, and promised I'd go in to be seen later if anything else happened. I needed to process my thoughts. A panic attack? Urinary Tract Infections? What in the world? Had I really just called 911 for a UTI!? Turned out he was totally spot on in both cases, I was dealing with silent uti's, which is why I hadn't realized I'd begun having them. And my poor nervous system was exhausted and it didn't matter what it was that I'd seen that day that caused the startle reaction, that little blip in my radar was all it took to bring on a full blown panic attack. Little did I know the path that incident would take me on, a scary winding path of the past few years of fighting to get myself back, and vowing that if I figured it out I'd share what I'd learned, and so here we are my friend. It's my hope that by sharing my story, and the tools that I've found to be helpful in the fight, will help you as well if you're facing something similar.

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"When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."

Psalm 94:18-19

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work" 2 Corinthians 9:8 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3